High. Low. Repeat.
“Your idea of building a community is interesting but I’m not going to join. I’m already part of a membership community that I joined decades ago and so I’m not interested in being a member. I’d be happy to support you by coming out to your dinner but this wouldn’t be for me. I want to make that clear upfront.”
This is what a leader told me when he asked what my business was about. He was upfront, direct and no nonsense. Great. Who doesn’t love someone who can be boldly blunt and firm. He needs nothing from me and so he can be as direct as he likes. I like direct people. But sometimes it burns.
The cliff you jump off with no instructions
They say that when you become a founder, you go from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. Nobody fully understands what that feels like until you actually become a founder because it’s a job you’ve never held before. There is no training. You can’t really go to school for it (though many try). It’s something you have to do by just diving in. When you jump off the cliff, it’s a black hole and you have no clear idea how you’ll feel until you just do it.
Your superpower only takes you so far
Every founder has one expertise that they’re innately really good at. I call this the founder’s “superpower.” You have to be really good at this thing or you’re not a very valuable founder. Mine is sales. I’m really good at sales because I have strong communication skills and I build trust with people. I can relate to the customers I’m selling to and share a really good value proposition but that’s only if the customer is right for my business. I realize that not everyone is.
When the doubt creeps in
But when you give your pitch and the conversion doesn’t happen. It drops your optimism score down a notch. With each pitch that goes dry, your optimism drops further, sometimes multiplying faster depending on how many days you’ve had a dry spell. As each day goes by, and sometimes weeks, the doubt starts to creep in and you wonder if you’re truly cut out for this? Maybe your product idea wasn’t as great as you thought it would be? Maybe your value proposition is weak and you’re not aware enough to understand this? Maybe you’re just not good enough, plain and simple.
Every founder has these thoughts in their head every now and then, whether they share that openly or not. There are no guarantees in life, but as a founder, you are truly gambling with the unknown because you’re building from zero to one. You’re not taking on a “job” or being promoted into a new role. There’s no playbook for your idea, and the more unique it is, the more you need to blaze the trail. You are building something from nothing and the only thing you have to keep going is your instincts, your drive, and a belief that sometimes starts to drop and you know you’ve got to hold on.
Then the good days hit
But with bad days, come the good. When you get multiple customers in one month and your numbers go up, it’s the most exhilarating feeling in the world. The truth is, it’s rarely about the dollar amount. To me, it’s more about having conviction about something and finding people that truly felt value in what you were selling. You find your people. And when you’re building a private peer community like I am, it’s amazing that the right people see the value of your business right away. The conversion is quicker than most people think - often one personal conversation.
The loneliness nobody prepares you for
Your journey as an entrepreneur, particularly if you’re a solo entrepreneur, is going to be hard. The hardest part is the loneliness because you need to be your own cheerleader, coach, team player, boss. Some founders seek an executive coach, which is definitely helpful but there are many out there and you’ll need to find the right one. I’m not fond of coaches that are just certified on paper - they can’t help me out of a bind when they’ve never actually been in the arena. I also need to admire the coach in some way or I don’t think I could tolerate their coaching for more than a few sessions.
If you have peers going through the same journey as you, that is definitely helpful. It will allow you to share your thoughts with a confidante and be vulnerable when you spend days and weeks acting like you have all the answers. You often don’t.
If you have a group of peers, now we’re talking. Everyone at the same level, doing what you’re doing, going through the same challenges and stepping out of the isolation for a few hours to gain support, encouragement and sometimes just a soul to share your most challenging moments with. That’s priceless because in the end, we are all human.
This is normal
So if you’re a founder, new or deep into your business, and you have waves of feeling on top of the world, with occasional bouts of demoralizing on-your-knees depression, do not fret. This is normal. You’re building something that doesn’t quite exist the way you built it, and that’s something special. You are taking a risk that most people wouldn’t dream about because they know how difficult it is. You are the main character and as we all know, main characters always go through an exciting, painful, unbelievable journey in their stories. Sometimes they become legends. But they always start off as normal people going from zero to one.
I’m Christine. Former CPO, current founder. I run 5 to 9 Society, a leadership community built for founders and operators who are serious about the work. If this resonated with you, you’re probably a leader that needs a community like ours.
"They say that when you become a founder, you go from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. Nobody fully understands what that feels like until you actually become a founder because it’s a job you’ve never held before. There is no training. You can’t really go to school for it (though many try). It’s something you have to do by just diving in. When you jump off the cliff, it’s a black hole and you have no clear idea how you’ll feel until you just do it."
Christine everything you wrote was SO relatable to me!
As a first-time founder I've noticed that it's hard to explain what I'm actually going through to my employed friends.
I've also found that being able to tolerate all the highs, as well as the lows has become my superpower ahah... There are days when I feel unstoppable, I will conquer my target market, and days when the silence is deafening.
Thank you for putting words on something I've been feeling a lot lately!